I should have died from that, seing as it crushed most of my stomach and upper thighs, but the Central Galactic Coalition fixed me up and subsequently "volunteered" me for the the star navy.
My father's last words to me, when he was arrested for illegal product trafficking, were: "Look after your sister for me. I love you, son." I have never forgotten that day or his words, and have taken care of my sister, just as he asked. So I guess she also took care of me, in the only way she could, at that time, even knowing the consequences. As it was, she came with me into the navy.
My sister has always had an affinity for machines, so we managed to get her a job as a mechanic. Amazingly, one of the captains took enough of a liking to us to get on the same ship, which happened to be his.I guess his superiors wanted any trouble we caused to be confined to our benefactors.
I managed Star Marine, because they fixed me up and "upgraded" me. Thermal vision, limited zero-oxygen operation, a scope link to our eyes, a laser cutter/welder that folds out of one arm and a katana that folds out of the other. We also have "cybernetic musculature enhancement" and armor implants. They also gave us rocket "bikes", nicknamed "crotch rockets". We get all the glamour and fame and all the high tech weaponry, but really, they treat us like starman rookies, maybe even worse...
***TO BE CONTINUED***
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9 comments:
I like the concept.
I like the writing.
I do not like the BLOCK OF EXPOSITION technique.
What's wrong with blocks of exposition? Where else am I supposed to put it?
Ideally, exposition is worked into the story.
e.g., you don't tell the reader "Everyone's dead because I'm pyrokinetic and burned them accidently." Instead you give your character an aversion to fire and a fear of killing (never again) and let the blocks fall into place.
In the Apocalypse, I've yet to adequately explain the Upheaval, the Seven, Oak's role, the storms of the Plateau, or any number of things. If it becomes important, it will work its own way into the story.
Any author can write an encyclopedia worth of knowledge about their worlds, but no one cares unless it pertains to their story, or people have loved their world enough to want more.
Also! I think it bad form to end a chapter/section/what-have-you with an ellipsis.
Not to diminish your art, of course.
Two things: first: you may have already noticed, but I overuse elipses... Second: it works well as the end of a half chapter/post thing...
Abundance does not excuse wrongdoing.
No it does not; only semicolons do that. ;)
Seriously though, I sort of agree with Reogan on this one. I don't think the ellipsis is completely necessary at the end of the chapter. A period will work just as well in my opinion.
Frankly, Xanthurian, I almost wish I had your problem. I suck at exposition.
You both have a problem. Find a happy medium. Train each other in your errors.
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