Monday, November 16, 2009

Options

I'm still taking it easy, as anyone who expects a Song of the Day will soon discover, but I will probably still post more than anyone else here. This is due to my deep psychological need to post, not Met's failings to post often enough (failings which don't actually exist). It's been too soon since Elphaba stopped regular posting to determine if she fails to post frequently enough. Anyway, on to the tender heart of the matter.

Monday has always been the domain of my dear GLaDOS. However, despite the fact that she is Still Alive, you'll be GLaD to hear she won't be making an encore performance until Portal II. So now we must fill the space with something, lest Met greedily snatch my posting territory, as he is wont to do. Option one is a Jacques Cousteau tale; a prequel to my first. Before the beginning, I'd like to note how astonishingly difficult it is to write like this. Even so, I managed to write

A Prequel, Part I

Well, one thing's clear, thought Jacques Cousteau, It's dark. And so it was. As Jacques descended the blood soaked stairs into the dark depths of Darkdeep, the darkness deepened. He dared not unsheathe the Feldagger the Medium of Doomspeak had given him, for it still glowed with the blood of the fallen Yeti-Worm that had ambushed him. The light would cause the hosts of Darkdeep to notice him. And when they notice me he thought, Then they will know that the Gatekeeper is no more. If that happened, even the Half-Djinni Spirit King's blessing couldn't save him.

Option two will bring us all back to the days of our childhood. It will show us the dreams we dreamed, and the lives we imagined into being. It will then proceed to trample them, rend them thrice in twain, and force-feed them to us through a funnel caked with a slimy substance of questionable origin. Yes, it has come at last!

Pokemon: The Golden Apocalypse - Prologue

Red ran through the dense forest, branches ripping at his clothes and snaring his feet. The vines that hung down from the canopy were covered in vicious thorns, but he ran straight through them, ignoring the searing streaks of crimson they left on his exposed face and arms. Behind him, a roar bellowed through the trees, causing some branches to fall, such was its ferocity. He tripped on one of these and before he could rise, the skies darkened. A reptilian monstrosity flew through the air above, spewing smoke from its nostrils and fire gleaming on its tail. As it flew past, a torrent of water erupted from the river to Red's left, and the dragon fell from the skies, somewhere to his right. The Blastoise turned in Red's direction, where the Charizard had fallen. Cursing, Red jumped up, and tried to escape the spot where soon, no doubt, two behemoths would battle. He had barely started, when both creatures fled from some creature more terrible than either of them. Though hidden by the forest, its advance was marked by the tremors that shook the ground and the crashing of distant trees. Red ran for but a moment, before reaching a clearing at the end of the forested valley. His heart sank, and his thoughts dulled as he slowly realized there was no escape; instead of a steady rise to the level of the surrounding land, there was a steep cliff, precluding any progress. Red turned, intending to run past his pursuer, when the Venusaur entered the clearing. The titanic beast stood twenty meters high, and a vine thicker than a large apling snaked from the bulb on it's back. Just as it was about to grab Red, the sun reached an angle that cause light to suffuse the scene. The vine retracted as the bulb on the giants back opened. A glow began to emanate from the flower, which grew unbearably bright and then leapt from bulb. The beam howled towards Red, heat rolling off it in waves and-

Red awoke screaming. Realizing it was just a dream, he laid back down. He was almost asleep when an errant thought strolled into his consciousness. He was sixteen today. It was the day of the Calling.


Option three is where I write a dark tale, Elphaba calls it horrible, I reply sarcastically, Met intervenes, Elphaba sides with him and I cry.

34 comments:

Met said...

I'm inclined to say Pokemon is the best option. I love it when you put things in perspective...

Elphaba said...

Do you really cry when I say your writing is horrible? I never mean horrible as in bad writing, I just don't particularly enjoy the subject matter. However, that doesn't make it bad writing! I love the way you write! I really don't want you to be sad, Reogan...

Oh, and my vote: Jacques Costeau. I really enjoyed that story. :P

Met said...

C'mon Elphaba, we both know that the only reason you're pulling for Costeau is probably because you don't understand Pokemon and thus you draw more interest from something derived from a largely original source. You need to do some research and play some more video games. I'm not trying to annoy you about it, but it's something that you really should consider. I just tend to think that a literal interpretation of Pokemon in a realistic way is terrifying and thus really, really, cool and amusing. I think you'd probably agree with me (knowing you) if you only had more experience in the traditional Pokemon universe devised by Nintendo, but maybe I don't know you as well as I think, but at least it's more then you know me.

Elphaba said...

Actually, I have tried Pokemon before. I'm not a huge fan of judging something before I try it. (I will, however, determine whether or not it sounds interesting to me.)

You may "know" that reason for why I like the tale of Jacques Costeau, but frankly, you're WAY off base. I've tried to play it, looked at the cards, etc.--none of it really interested me. (Actually, video games in general don't interest me much, with the exception of Lego Batman, Lego Star Wars I & II, and the new video game they're gonna release soon based on Criminal Minds.) However, much like in the Zelda argument (see Void), I'm just not interested.

Oh, and by the way: "...at least it's more then you know me." Do you HAVE to bring that up again?!?

Met said...

So are you saying you don't enjoy RPGs? Because Pokemon is sort of like one of the base games for RPGs. Yes, I do have to bring that up again, because I get much amusement from seeing you go mad over this...
How'd you like the letter I sent a while back?

Reogan said...

A tie... I'll have to think about this...

Elphaba said...

I'm kinda brain-dead today... what's an RPG?

Oh, and I still have your letter. I will admit, it disturbed me a little when you left it for me... Either you don't know me as well as you think you do, or you know WAY more than I thought you did. We'll see.

Reogan: I won't get mad if you don't pick Costeau. Promise.

Reogan said...

RPG means Rational Parabolic Gravitation. It's the first of Newton's theories.

Met said...

Leave it to Reogan to come up with something original. In video games an RPG refers to a Role Playing Game such as Pokemon, Lord of the Rings: The Third Age, and Chrono Trigger. They're usually slow paced and more strategy orientated.

Elphaba said...

It depends on the game. The Nancy Drew PC games are fun, but that's mostly because I like making up backstories for the various characters. I mostly watch the TV shows & movies/play the games/read the books I do based on the relationships in them. With very few exceptions.

Oh, and Reogan? Doesn't "parabolic" mean "something having to do with a parabla/parable"?

Reogan said...

It means that it moves in a parabola.

Elphaba said...

Yeah, but Newton's First Law has nothing to do with parablas... OH! You said theories... duh... I feel stupid.

Reogan said...

Nothing I've ever heard of deals with parablas. Please explain what these mystic forms are.

Elphaba said...

Do not mock my spelling.

Reogan said...

Then spell properly.

Elphaba said...

Shut up. You're the one who sometimes uses "teh" instead of "the".

Reogan said...

Me? Never.

Johann said...

I vote....................................................................................................................................POKEMON! I love the realism and believe they should make a new pokemon movie with real actors, rated at least PG-13, and showing the real idea of dog fights and violence that pokemon actually is.

Reogan said...

The Golden Apocalypse has 436/654 of the vote!

Elphaba said...

Crap. Can I vote twice?

Reogan said...

Of course!


For a small fee...

Elphaba said...

*sarcastic* Wonderful. Just how much is that "small" fee?

Reogan said...

The Former Yugoslavic Republic of Macedonia.

Elphaba said...

Yeah, right.

Met said...

Now I hope Elphaba regrets her vote here...

Elphaba said...

Meh, not really. I got the Apocalypse anyway, and I still like Costeau. :P

Reogan said...

I guess I should abandon the Apocalypse, then?

Elphaba said...

HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!?!?!? No, you most certainly should NOT!

Reogan said...

Your words say no, but your punctuation shrieks yes.

Elphaba said...

Please don't do it! There would be a lot of angry people out to get you...

Reogan said...

You work only to convince me to cease, I see.

Elphaba said...

No, I do not want you to stop!

Reogan said...

Better.

Reogan said...

Wow. This must've been fun. And now we have both, if infrequently. I like the way it turned out. Jacques and the Apocalypse are both more than I'd hoped.