Friday, October 08, 2010

Jordan the Werepenguin!

*insert theme music much like the Kids Next Door theme song*

Jordan slid down the snowdrift stealthily, hiding behind the glacier and glaring at his opponent. Slowly drawing his ice pick and loading several snowballs into his modified AK-97, he suddenly lunged at Warren the Walrus, who was robbing the local Mop-Ko.

"Stop! In the name of justice!" Jordan yelled as he fired frozen water at the pinniped thief.

"You'll never catch me, werepenguin! I can slide better than you can!" With that, Warren slipped into the water with his stolen goods.

"Yeah, right!" The hero dove into the frigid liquid and swam as fast as he could, chasing after the walrus like mad. As he slowly drew closer, he put on a final burst of speed, shoving the walrus through the ice above and tackling him.

"Give me the goods, Warren! Your life of crime is over!"

19 comments:

Elphaba said...

JUST TO LET YOU ALL KNOW:

Yes, this post sucks. I know. But I have less to go on than I did when I wrote about having no ideas.

When you read this, think crappy kids' show on Cartoon Network.

Xanthurian said...

I actually found it rather comical and not at all suckish... However I have to agree with the cheesy CN show...

Reogan said...

How did Jordan turn from his life of evil serving the Necromaster?

I'd also ask how talking walruses and things like AK-97s entered into the world of Jacques, but we all know better than to be surprised.

Elphaba said...

XANTHURIAN: Thanks!

REOGAN: This does not take place in the world of Jacques. Also, if anybody wants me to continue, his past will be explained.

Reogan said...

He's a werepenguin. One of the first facts established in Jacques was the werepenguins' subservience to the Necromaster.

Elphaba said...

He's a different type of werepenguin. A crime-fighting one that has no relation to Jacques.

Reogan said...

Impossible!

Elphaba said...

No, I just created a different world with a similar creature. It happens.

Reogan said...

Impossible!

Met said...

You do know that the AK-97 actually exists, right? It's an AK series assault rifle carbine that fires the 7.62x39mm round. I'm not kidding, just because Wikipedia doesn't have a page for it doesn't mean it isn't in existence.

Elphaba said...

Hmm. I Googled it, and nothing came up. Oh, well.

Reogan said...

Cthulhu below! Xanthurian! Elphaba! You both wrote something at 12:34! The second best time!

^Exclamation overuse.

Elphaba said...

What is the best time?

Reogan said...

I think you can figure that out.

Elphaba said...

Midnight?

Reogan said...

False.

Xanthurian said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Xanthurian said...

The best time could be 1:23...

Reogan said...

False.