Once upon a time, there was a sad and lonely lesbian who had been trapped in her metaphorical tower for far too much of her life. She had searched high and low for a worthy maiden with whom she could while away the hours, but there were so few to meet in her metaphorical tower that she soon exhausted herself in the search.
"Someday, I will find a maiden," she whispered to herself at night. "Someday, I shall know true love's kiss." But as the days turned into months and then years, she began to despair of it ever coming true.
One of these nights, the sad and lonely lesbian decided that she had had enough of being sad and lonely and simply whispering her wishes into her pillow. She pulled out her SmartMirror, tapped her reflection, and murmured, "Mirror, mirror, in my hand, show me the fairest in the land." Immediately, a host of maidens appeared on her SmartMirror: maidens who were fair of face, of words, of personality, of humor, of kindness - so much more than she had ever seen in her metaphorical tower!
The joyous lesbian - for she was neither sad nor lonely anymore - began to converse, to debate, to discuss with fair maidens from many lands with varying degrees of success. Though she did not immediately find a fair maiden with whom she could share true love's kiss, she did make many new friends. And, she reasoned, that could be enough, could it not? Finding others who understood, who had lived in similar metaphorical towers? Yet the more she tried to convince herself that this was all she needed, the more her secret desire to find a maiden grew. Each night, she asked to see the fairest in the land, but still to no avail.
Until one night, when her SmartMirror replied to her, "My lady, you've got mail." She tapped its surface and saw that someone had indeed sent her a message through their own SmartMirror. "I noticed you enjoy the works of Rebecca Sugar," the maiden wrote. "Might I inquire as to your favorite of her creations?"
"Surely Garnet, although I find Pearl to bear a remarkable resemblance to my own mind," the now even more joyous lesbian responded with a smile emoji. Waiting for her companion's reply, she began to wonder anew: could this be the maiden with whom I will share true love's kiss?"