Friday, January 29, 2010

Trapped

I stared around at my surroundings, shivering. I couldn't remember anything about why I was in an igloo with a screwdriver and three dollars in my pocket, but that wasn't important now.

"Hello?" I called into the frigid air. "Is anyone there? Hello?"

"Don't worry. All will be revealed in time," a toneless voice pronounced out of nowhere.

"What? Who are you? Where am I?"

"You don't need to know. But you may know this: you are a part of an experiment. We need you to stay calm in order for our results to be accurate."

"What?!?" I screamed into the air. "No, I will not stay calm! What kind of experiment?"

"I told you; you don't need to know. Now calm yourself before we have to calm you by force."

"Go ahead and 'calm' me by force then!" I shot back sarcastically. A pungent odor started to permeate the air. I fought my closing lids as long as I possibly could, but eventually succumbed to a drugged sleep.

18 comments:

Qupar said...

nice, awesome, epic pwnage

Reogan said...

A poorly-concealed attempt to copy Portal.

1. Waking up in a strange igloo.
I. Waking up in the Enrichment Center.

2. A toneless voice from nowhere.
II. GLaDOS over the PA.

3. An experiment.
III. An experiment.

4. Calming by force.
IV. Flooding the enrichment center with a deadly neurotoxin.

Congratulations on such an original story. We are very, very happy for your success. We are throwing a party in honor of your tremendous success. Lay on your stomach with your hands at your sides. A party associate will arrive shortly to collect you for your party. Assume the party escort submission position or you will miss the party.

Met said...

I hate to say it, but Reogan is kind of right on this. It does seem like a much shorter and condensed version of Portal with no interaction.

Reogan said...

You have to admit some of my 'connections' were a bit of a stretch, though.

Elphaba said...

Considering the fact that I've never played Portal in my life, I don't think I copied it. Or at least, not intentionally. And thank you for the compliment, Qupar.

Reogan said...

When people accuse you of plagiarism, it's well and good to defend yourself, but not by giving them more reason to hate you i.e. never having played Portal.

Elphaba said...

Do you really hate me?!? I'm sorry, but I'm just not all that interested in video games!

Reogan said...

Portal is more than a video game. It's a story. It's a way of life.

Elphaba said...

I'll take your word for it.

Reogan said...

No. You will play. I will see to it.

Elphaba said...

Like when?

Reogan said...

ASAP.

As
Soon
As
Prudent.

Elphaba said...

Got it.

Met said...

As I'm rereading all our past posts tonight I just gotta comment and say that Reogan's comment here made me laugh... hard. You're hilarious ner vod.

Reogan said...

I was. Sometimes, though, it seems I've lost my touch.

Reogan said...

Also? Continue this, Elphie.

Elphaba said...

I've never really known what to do with it.

Reogan said...

That's why it's so fun!