Friday, October 02, 2009

A topic rather close to me...

This week's topic will be so-called "normalcy". What is it? Who defines it? Is anything ever truly "normal"?

Okay, let's start with the first question. What exactly is "normal"? (Actually, there's a town called Normal, IL, population 35,672. But I digress...) Back to dictionary.com again! Their first definition is "conforming to the standard or the common type". Obviously, that "type" depends on what you're describing as "normal", like a "normal" life, "normal" personality, "normal" blog (something we can be safe from--thank you, Reogan), etc.

But who decides what is "standard" or "common"? Common is a little easier to define; it's basically what occurs often. For example, a "normal" day for my dog is to eat, sleep, bark at cars and birds, and stare at moving shadows. He does these things a lot, so that is what "normal" or common is for him.

However, what about more obscure things, like personalities or attitudes? Obviously, there may be some things that aren't considered "normal" anywhere, such as "secretly hiding 17 cashews in the chest hair of Burt Reynolds, then attempting to retrieve each nut via a custom-built Dirt Devil or similar hand-held suction device" (courtesy of The History Channel's quiz, "How Weird Are You?"). I highly doubt there is a culture out there that would think of that as "normal" behavior. But what about something a little less extreme? We all have our own little idiosyncrasies--be it writing poetry about the undead, singing show tunes in different languages, getting excited when a new Bruce Willis movie comes out... whatever. Does that necessarily make us weird?

(The fact that I have confessed my strangeness to various people has no bearing on this at all. Probably.)

25 comments:

Met said...

Again Elphaba you remind me of myself when I started blogging. I wrote quite a few things along the same lines. However, this of course contains it's own hints of you and I am sort of dissapointed you didn't mention my own "weird traits" instead substituting a Bruce Willis movie (?). In either case it's something that happens all the time and although some might say it's obvious and you're just beating a dead horse, I beg to differ with those individuals that may potentially say that. Noraml just happens to be an abused word in my opinion, if we all used it correctly you probably wouldn't have wrote this, but I appreciate your efforts.

Elphaba said...

If I knew who you were (HINT, HINT), I would've mentioned a strange trait of yours. At this point, I can't think of anything weird that you do (if I KNEW WHO YOU WERE, that would certainly help). And is it a good thing that I remind you of you?

Met said...

I think so, but of course everyone is unique. I'm really enjoying this whole... secrecy thing, it's rather amusing, but let me assure you; when you do find out who I am it'll be because we planted the information, HOWEVER there is one way that you can figure this out without any intervetion from anyone who knows me. There is a connection here somewhere (when I say here I mean on the internet) that will solidify and at the very least narrow down your list to a very small number for who I am. I'm actually very curious to see who you suspect and I reccomend that you keep watching your back, because I am there... somewhere.

Elphaba said...

Where is that Internet connection?!? I've got a few ideas, but I don't want to say anything yet...

Reogan said...

Normalcy exists only due to conformity which has so thoroughly permeated society that some conform to 'non-conformist' groups.

Met said...

I removed it during November, but it's irrelevant now. It was on my NFA blog and I was very surprised you never found it.

Reogan said...

You are disappoint Elphaba. Very disappoint.

Met said...

At least we enjoyed a bit of the disappointment, did we not?

"Normalcy exists only due to conformity which has so thoroughly permeated society that some conform to 'non-conformist' groups."

Kris Kringle?
Props if you get the reference.

Elphaba said...

"At least we enjoyed a bit of the disappointment, did we not?"

Met, this is the last $@#*ed time I'm going to tell you this: QUIT TALKING ABOUT IT. If you think I'm kidding, come talk to me. We'll discuss it.

Met said...

So you blame me when Reogan brings it up?

Reogan said...

I brought nothing up. I just continued a conversation.

Elphaba said...

No, I blame you when you laugh about it, when you know it creeped me out. THAT is what really makes me mad.

Met said...

See, I have a problem with your single sided favoritism towards Reogan here. You chase me out like I'm the devil, but Reogan and I worked with perfect cohesion in this matter. You know he's just sitting there laughing that you're going after me in classic fashion while he enjoys the show. That makes me just about as mad as you probably feel, I just don't resort to caps lock or exclamation points to show it because I believe in being somewhat respectful in the midst of complex issues.

Elphaba said...

"See, I have a problem with your single sided favoritism towards Reogan here. You chase me out like I'm the devil, but Reogan and I worked with perfect cohesion in this matter."

And who keeps bringing it up, despite my asking him NOT to do so? That would be YOU. That's what I'm angry about, like I said.

"You know he's just sitting there laughing that you're going after me in classic fashion while he enjoys the show."

No, he's not. He doesn't talk to me about it, nor does he laugh about the fact that both you and he were scaring me badly. You, however, keep bringing it up after multiple requests not to do so.

"That makes me just about as mad as you probably feel,"

Then quit bringing up your (plural) little "conspiracy!"

"I just don't resort to caps lock or exclamation points to show it because I believe in being somewhat respectful in the midst of complex issues."

Really? Here's a little newsflash for you: fear is also a complex issue! If you really believed in "being somewhat respectful in the midst of complex issues," you (again, plural) would never have scared me like that! Reogan was no saint here, either, but he doesn't keep reminding me about the stupid thing, either. You, as I've said repeatedly, DO.

Oh, and I believe in showing your true emotions, be it through speech, writing, whatever.

Elphaba said...

"You are disappoint Elphaba. Very disappoint."

Reogan, you haven't brought this up in almost a year. Don't ruin it, or you'll get the same riot act as Met.

Met said...

"And who keeps bringing it up, despite my asking him NOT to do so? That would be YOU. That's what I'm angry about, like I said."

This is what I mean by favoritism; I didn't bring it up. If you didn't notice I simply responded to Reogan's comment which was a "continuation" of the previous discussion under this post.

"No, he's not. He doesn't talk to me about it, nor does he laugh about the fact that both you and he were scaring me badly. You, however, keep bringing it up after multiple requests not to do so."

Uh, yes he is, and he did. I would know because I laughed with him. See the comment above for my response to the second portion.

"Then quit bringing up your (plural) little "conspiracy!""

See first response.

"Really? Here's a little newsflash for you: fear is also a complex issue!"

Please explain this to me.

"If you really believed in "being somewhat respectful in the midst of complex issues," you (again, plural) would never have scared me like that!"

You is plural? Or did I misunderstand something there. Also, that's why the word somewhat is in there.

"Reogan was no saint here, either, but he doesn't keep reminding me about the stupid thing, either. You, as I've said repeatedly, DO."

See first response.

"Oh, and I believe in showing your true emotions, be it through speech, writing, whatever."

As do I.

Met said...

"Reogan, you haven't brought this up in almost a year. Don't ruin it, or you'll get the same riot act as Met."

This makes me want to bang my head against the wall.

Elphaba said...

"This is what I mean by favoritism; I didn't bring it up. If you didn't notice I simply responded to Reogan's comment which was a 'continuation' of the previous discussion under this post."

You have received multiple warnings. Reogan has not. I gave him a warning, and if he keeps it up, I'll be all bitchy to him, too. Also, I didn't see his comment right away, and I do apologize for that.

"Uh, yes he is, and he did. I would know because I laughed with him. See the comment above for my response to the second portion."

Like you said, see my comment above.

"Please explain this to me."

There are many issues that feed into a fear of something. Not all of them are understood by the person with the fear.

"You is plural? Or did I misunderstand something there."

Both you and Reogan scared me. He is just as culpable as you.

"This makes me want to bang my head against the wall."

Maybe I should've said, "Reogan, you haven't brought this up to me in almost a year." Because he hasn't. And, again, I didn't see his comment right away. Do you doubt my ability to act like a jerk toward Reogan? Trust me, it's happened.

For the record, I am sorry if it seems like I'm favoring him over you. Maybe I just know him more than I know you, or something, so I can understand why he does stuff better than I can with you. (That sentence was horrible.) I don't mean to show blatant favoritism; if I have, it was unintentional. Reogan? Any thoughts?

Reogan said...

"Reogan? Any thoughts?"

That I am wise to keep my distance from this post. For now.

Elphaba said...

Probably a wise idea.

Met said...

"You have received multiple warnings. Reogan has not. I gave him a warning, and if he keeps it up, I'll be all bitchy to him, too. Also, I didn't see his comment right away, and I do apologize for that."

The only reason I've received "multiple warnings" (can you give me an exact number? I only remember receiving 2) is because you blatantly favor Reogan; I am now nearly certain of this and it's really getting to me how you let him get away with things others (such as myself in this case) simply wouldn't. It's downright hypocritical, nearly to the extent of some of the things I've done in my private life, but that's behind me now I'd like to think. The way you chastise others and spare Reogan is ridiculous. You are almost so much like me in my past and a little bit now that some of my own self-hatred is sent to you, and I apologize, but that aside I'm rather quite disappointed by this whole situation, one that started with me, yes, but you ran away with it in my opinion so I'm calling you out. I know you can't end this immediately, it's downright impossible to instantly change your life, but at least be conscience of it, something you seem to be working at, which is obviously good. I have my own issues to sort out; I remain conscious of them as I continue to deal with them and I'm calling you to join me in this.

"There are many issues that feed into a fear of something. Not all of them are understood by the person with the fear."

This really doesn't convince me that fear is complex. I'm sort of asking you for a long and detailed explanation so i can see where your coming from and compare opinions.

"Both you and Reogan scared me. He is just as culpable as you."

The way you have treated him in comparison to me says otherwise.

"Maybe I should've said, "Reogan, you haven't brought this up to me in almost a year." Because he hasn't."

False, he may not have brought it up to you, but he has. Did you say the same thing to me when I first brought it up? I don't think so, but I've been wrong before.

"And, again, I didn't see his comment right away."

What did you think I was responding to and quoting? You get email notifications and you can easily check the date. This is a pretty pathetic excuse, but an excuse nonetheless that may be the truth (if so though, I can't help but see it as another side effect of favoritism perhaps even on an unconscious level). Please convince me otherwise.

"Do you doubt my ability to act like a jerk toward Reogan? Trust me, it's happened."

Actually, yes. I've never seen you go after him like you've gone after me. A reference for this would be nice so we could compare our opinions on "being a jerk".

*sigh*
You know it's not a good sign when blogger tells you your response is too long. To be continued in the next comment from me.

Met said...

"Both you and Reogan scared me. He is just as culpable as you."

The way you have treated him in comparison to me says otherwise.

"Maybe I should've said, "Reogan, you haven't brought this up to me in almost a year." Because he hasn't."

False, he may not have brought it up to you, but he has. Did you say the same thing to me when I first brought it up? I don't think so, but I've been wrong before.

"And, again, I didn't see his comment right away."

What did you think I was responding to and quoting? You get email notifications and you can easily check the date. This is a pretty pathetic excuse, but an excuse nonetheless that may be the truth (if so though, I can't help but see it as another side effect of favoritism perhaps even on an unconscious level). Please convince me otherwise.

"Do you doubt my ability to act like a jerk toward Reogan? Trust me, it's happened."

Actually, yes. I've never seen you go after him like you've gone after me. A reference for this would be nice so we could compare our opinions on "being a jerk".

"For the record, I am sorry if it seems like I'm favoring him over you."

Any sentence that starts with "for the record" doesn't bode well or ring with sincerity. Just my two cents to this opening sentence.

"Maybe I just know him more than I know you, or something, so I can understand why he does stuff better than I can with you. (That sentence was horrible.)"


You don't really understand it better, you can never really do that, you can only justify it better. This is a common misconception in my opinion and applies in just about every relationship. Call me cynical, but that's what I believe. I'm always open to discussion though so that you may convince me otherwise.


"I don't mean to show blatant favoritism; if I have, it was unintentional."

The cases where intentional favoritism is involved are extremely rare. We're both aiming for a reasonable and uplifting catharsis in my opinion; we have the same goals. However, I believe you have and have failed to recognize it as such. I just ask that you search yourself, reexamine what you know, and question everything with boldness.

"Reogan? Any thoughts?"

Haha, he responded exactly as I thought, and probably what I would've said if I was in his place. He has no wish to become in a long, drawn out affair. He does not want his problems to be explored or to come to light right here and now with the audience we have. I agree it's a wise choice and driven out of healthy self interest (he's in for a rude awakening when he meets actual socialists/communists). Obviously I'm inserting words for him a bit here from what I perceive. I would be very surprised if this is not his opinion; it is what mine would be.

I await responses and further discussion.

Elphaba said...

I am going to be done with this discussion. For my own sanity. There is absolutely no point in continuing this.

And I am not doing this because I have no defense. I am doing it because I HAVE HAD ENOUGH.

Met said...

How exactly will this preserve your sanity?

Elphaba said...

"I'm rather quite disappointed by this whole situation, one that started with me, yes, but you ran away with it in my opinion so I'm calling you out."

Whose idea was the conspiracy? And which one of the orchestrators has apologized?

"Actually, yes. I've never seen you go after him like you've gone after me. A reference for this would be nice so we could compare our opinions on 'being a jerk.'"

Most of the time, it was verbal. There's no record for it. The one time where there's a written record for it involves an extremely personal incident that I do not feel comfortable sharing. You may see this as weaseling out of giving an example. See what you like.

"I just ask that you search yourself, reexamine what you know, and question everything with boldness."

Do you actually think that I haven't thought about this more nights than I can count? Asked myself, "Why the h*** would they do that?" If so, you are sadly mistaken. Also, what do you mean, "question everything with boldness?" Just curious.