Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Abysmal Ineptitude

Apparently, Qupar has decided that he is above the system and is in no way required to post as the schedule demands. As Reogan-in-Chief (Not to be confused with Met-in-Chief, another prestigious position), I need to create filler. Why should you care? Because I had just begun to write the next chapter of the Apocalypse when I discovered this. I first intended to just write it anyway and post it here to make up for the error. However, that would reward Qupar for his sloth. I don't reward sloth. Instead, I turn to a random sentence generator, and build a story from that. Every italicized sentence is randomly generated. The tenses have been edited to fit.

Why couldn't the red bush wait? The green one had no problem standing in line. Yet the red bush insisted on shoving its way to the front, paying no attention to the order of things. I yelled at it to stop. I knew it displeased the Vicar to see such exuberance in the court. Yet despite my warning - almost as if to spite my warning - the bush reached the front, and entangled the Vice-Telemarketer's hand with a root. The man was pulled to the ground, and began to fight back. The struggle foamed. The battle was obscured for but a moment when the foam became awash with the saffron blood of the Telemarketer. From his tower, the Vicar frowned. He made a gesture, and an inertia appeared on the field. The red bush was left defenseless as the other bushes fled. Two consultants swarmed from the toadstools. The first consultant bound the bush. The latter consultant inflicted the inertia. Newton wept, as the bush, no longer in motion, remained in that state, for no outside force affected it again. He wept for thermodynamics, and he wept for all bushes. Does every race script a keen pedantry? It would seem thus.

You can all thank Qupar for preventing me from posting two Apocalypses this week.


Met said...

Still; for last minute you did do a great job. I will make sure Quopar or whatever his name is now regrets this. I will post when I return; I'm sorry to keep you waiting. I will be back.

Qupar said...

it's not that i think i'm above it, but considering that no one reads this except us, I really didn't think it was worth getting really stressed over cause i had other stuff to do, i guess i'll post what i had ready, i didn't think it was good enouogh, i don't like it, but i'll post it anyway

Qupar said...

and hey Met, you haven't done a song of the day or week or whatever in a long time...

Reogan said...

Met is on hiatus. It was discussed, and deemed appropriate cause to not post. Concessions were made so that no days would be missed.

The word 'I' is capitalzed. Always. Learn it.

Also, spell check won't kill you.

End punctuation is considered an obligatory nicety in these part of the internet.

I took the liberty of removing your post. Not only was it unfinished, but today has already been taken are of. At the expense of the Apocalypse. Post it next week.

By the way, there's no call for the snarkiness at the end of your post. When you finish it to your standards, I'd prefer to see it removed.

I beg you to plan ahead for this Saturday's post. Please?

Qupar said...

lol, Reogan, care is spelled C-A-R-E, not are, gotcha back

Reogan said...

You persist in your errors, whereas I make an effort to correct mine. The occasional omission of a letter is more forgivable than an actual misspelling, which is in its own way more forgivable than the slaughter of the English language.

Also, that was typed on a keyboard which didn't work. I fixed a dozen such errors that day.